My buddy Don Crowther made an awesome video, about something inspirational that took place on a college softball field in Portland, Oregon recently.
But I have a bone to pick with him about his moral punchline. Here’s the video (you might want to get your kids to watch it with you) and you might need a box of tissues (it’s very touching.)
So watch the video, then read my thoughts (which I’ll post below the video.) Then keep scrolling to vote in my poll, and post your own feedback.
So… obviously this is a powerful video, and Don did a tremendous job. But I think he missed the mark on his moral conclusion. I don’t think it is all about how you feel at the end of the day. I think that lots of people get tripped up by relying too much on “how they feel.” And that a lot of people do really bad things because “it makes them feel good.” Am I right here?
OTOH, I don’t think I’ve got a pithy replacement ending for Don. I was thinking of something like:
“Winning is much more than the final score. It’s all about leaving the world a better place at the end of the day.”
What do you think? Scroll down to vote in my poll. Am I full of it? Or is Don? Then please post a comment to explain your vote, or give us your own pithy moral conclusion.
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Our children go to school in fear everyday waiting for someone to bring in a gun and shoot someone because for the last 20yrs we have taught them that everyone is “special” or “equal” and that winning isn’t important as long as you get to play the game. blah, blah, blah. When these kids are faced with a challenge or rejection they don’t know how to handle it. They burst out in uncontrolled anger because they don’t know how to react and deal. Why should they know. We haven’t been teaching them how to overcome adversity, we’ve been drugging them all their lives so they don’t feel the pain. (prozac, ritalin etc..)
The game should have stopped, the player taken off the field and attended to, the points lost and the team forced to rally to get back the points. The lesson learned there would have been that you will always have challenges in life that keep you from achieving your goals. There probably won’t be someone there to carry you when things go wrong and you need to overcome those obstacles. You may not win that one, but the true lessons in life are often learned in loss and how you deal with it. This girl will probably go through life thinking that she doesn’t have to be good to play. She doesn’t have to deal with loss or inadequcy. There will always be someone there to pick her up and carry her. How is that doing her any good? What happens the next time she stumbles? Will she get up, fight for the next goal against all odds or do you think that perhaps she’ll wait for someone to come along and fix it for her. What about the team members? Will they deal with their challenge and rise to the occasion or will they whine about the situation and declare that “it’s not fair”! Well, stop whining, get up, dust yourself off, fight back and learn from your mistakes and challenges.
Why can’t a good deed just be a good deed? Sara may have been in pain and could have asked for help, causing her hit to be a single. (Not everyone, as in one of the comments, is so selfish as to have to win the game.) Perhaps Sara realized that both teams were trying to help her, a low-performing player as noted by Don, make the home-run of a life-time. Thanks to Mallory and her team (who did not seem to make a fuss over Mallory’s decision), all of the girls can feel good that they made the world a better place and gave Sara a feeling that may never be repeated. Kudos to them all. Barbara, I have a great deal of respect for you. Let there be joy in this, enjoy it, and know that as long as the comments show the positive, people understand what it is all about.
At that level of sport you dont play to feel good, you play to win. How did all the girls in the losing team feel about two team mates handing the game to the opposition? Do you play competative sport to win or just have a “good warm fuzzy time?” I know why I play – to win.
I agree with Harvey on May 3, 2008 6:11 PM
I was moved by the compassion as it was laid out in the video only after I was shocked by the lack of attention to and care for the injured person. In the heat of the moment, were all spectators and players aware of the “stats” so much to make the decision for the injured player that she’d prefer to be carried around the bases for the good of the “team” rather than to have her pain be dealt with and her injury cared for immediately? To me, the fact that she blew her knee out in an attempt to right a “wrong” move showed some integrity on her part. After that, it should have been all about her injury, not her stats or the game winning potential of what “could have been” if she were able to round the bases. I was surprised to feel the sense of debate over the rules while the player is obviously in pain while everyone else decides what would be best! So, ultimately, I couldn’t say either “final statement” was spot on.
It was a really warm fuzzy feeling to see the video pieced together the way it was, though. Kind of reminded me of the movie, Lightening McQueen. I think the message was similar.
I think you are right about that “feeling good” may be different for each of us, depending on our morals and values, but I think he really meant feeling good about what is right. You two probably “feel” the same way about it.
It is inspirational to see this video, just to know that Mallory made this choice realizing that that her teammates and supporters would probably give her difficult time about her choice. I teach high school, and I don’t think I know of a student with this much moral integrity. I am very proud of her.
I wonder if you and Don are saying the same thing in different ways. At the end of the day, aren’t you both talking about doing the next right thing?
No, some people don’t do bad things because “it makes them feel good”. Some people do bad things for reasons I won’t go into here. You can research that. When we can step out of the competitive mentality and raise our moral standards – be nice to each other, then we are closer to feeling good about ourselves and making this world a better and more peaceful place. Then playing games with each other can be fun – when we are not attached to the results. Is it all about “feeling better about ourselves”. Well, that’s a whole other discussion.
Maybe it should have been left alone with the statement the Winning is more than the final score closing the video. As the video touches each person in a different way, so does the definition of winning.
Just out of curiosity, why did you say that the softball game was played in Portland, Oregon when the game was played in Washington?
While I think both Barbara and Dan are right but Graham Hays at ESPN hit the nail on the head. I got the email to check out this blog after seeing the video about this on ESPN’s Baseball Tonight.
If only we could see more of this in the world today.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?columnist=hays_graham&id=3372631
Hi–
Feeling implies using one’s heart rather than one’s brain. The girls reacted to another human being. I’d say Mallory was a winner in all ways.
mo
It was a great video, very heart warming!
I applaud Mallory for her high morals!
I think that both of the comments missed the mark.
If you look a little deeper the moral of the story is about:
1. Morals
2. Self-sacrifice – realizing another persons needs and putting them above our own
3. Looking beyond the jersey or the color of a person’s skin
4. Being a human and touching lives
5. Rising to the occasion when you are put in a position to make a difference in someone’s life
6. The fact that we all are here on this earth for a greater purpose
Mallory, just being who she is (a person of high morals and compassion), showed the world how we should all act when it comes to helping others. Can you say you would have done the same thing she did?
Living in the world we live in today, such compassion has been beat out of us. We have been desensitized by the violence and the horrific acts that are shown on the news daily and that is why this young lady’s choice is getting so much attention. We have become insensitive to others needs as we are caught up in the rat race of trying to survive to think we could change a persons life by one small sacrifice daily.
Can you imagine if the world was made up of people and politicians that were more like Mallory? I know that is a fantasy world but we could all do one small thing a day to rise to the occasion.
There are no coincidences in life, only divine appointments. Need Morals? Want to reach out to others and rise to the occasion? Is so check out http://www.crosswalk.com . Following and living by ten things could change you and make you a Mallory too.
I agree we adults have to learn to do things we do not want to do.
That is what makes a mature person.
We do not have to feel like it.
It might actually go against our “feelings”. Fathers and Mothers have to do things we do not feel like doing for the sake of the Family.
Sometimes I would like to sleep thru the night instead of sitting up all night holding a child that is vomiting. (they won’t remember, either)
Deny yourself…That is a hard one.
The question was about the bottomline…When we are teaching a problem do the ends justify the means of getting there?
I think Don is absolutely right, and so is Barbara, he is the first step of a logic and Barbara is the next, that’s all!
Just a quick question. I’m doing my own poll. Are you a Republican, Barbara? Please let me know.
Barbara, I voted “yes,” but I have to admit that it was only after some thought that I did so. I want to agree with your afterthought, but I think that by ending the video as he did, Don was trying to keep the interest of a broad audience. To those in the audience who already have an informed (and good) sense of morality, his statement rings true; for those may not, well, I don’t think they would have reasoned things out the way you did and, more to the point, I think that your ending would have “turned them off” by being too “preachy”. The story itself is the message, pithy ending or not.
“With them in our future, our future is really bight”
Should be the punch line. But I think you are picking worms a bit. Every body understood what he meant
“With them in our futur, our futur is really bight”
Should be the punch line. But I think you are picking worms a bit. Every body understood what he ment
I have to agree with laire on May 4, 2008 6:30 AM; thanks to Don for making this video – Barbara, there’s no limit or definition to the scope of feeling and feeling drives us all- read the research going on today – especially Antonio Damasio “The Feeling of What Happens.” Don’t intellectuallize everything – there’s just not a reason for everything – there may be a feeling for everything – Perhaps your curiosity and your inquiring nature were your feelings here Barbara – and that’s why you posted the video so more of us could see it -Thanks for that – It’s OK to trust your feeling and other people’s feelings too – feelings don’t mean a messy or negative outcome – Do they ? There is a bigger picture about optimism and learned optimism and about not questioning what is obviously a gloriously simple victory.
Sports for sports sake alone is not the original purpose.
Team work, problem solving are the two greatest complaints of employers, everywhere.
Feel or no feel, the acts of the two teams were cooperative, good sports, positive, and working with each other for purposes not specifically for the pointspread alone.
Good call for the team membes
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