Barbara Feldman: Is It All About How You Feel at the End of the Day?

I like your ending better Barbara, but I think you both missed the mark.
At the end of the day, It's all about how you make OTHERS feel.

I like your ending better Barbara, but I think you both missed the mark.
At the end of the day, It's all about how you make OTHERS feel.

who cares about the punchline... you are all taking away from the story. Ruining it! Let everyone take it the way they want, you take it the way you want. It is done. Not everyone can be satisfied. If he went back and changed it for the sake of satisfying everyone he will have taken away from the initial act itself. Conclude for yourself what the moral is and leave it alone. You are causing a great injustice, pulling the point of interest away from the girls and what they did and what they accomplished in the hearts of so many that have heard their story.

I tihnk there should have been the option to vote for both. I don't think there is really a need to vote on this. It is what it is. I have to ask anyone, did you ever promise yourself you would accomplish something in your life time? Goals? Maybe Sarah promised herself to get a home run before she graduated, and this was it. Yeah, she may have lost her home run on a technicality, but she didn't, because of kind people, who looked at "the bigger picture".
Michaels on May 5th stated, " There will always be challenges in life to keep you from your goal." This maybe true, but to TRY everyday so you can look yourself in the mirror, to know that you have NO REGRETS, makes life complete. I don't know that Sarah will EXAMINE her self and her inadequecies. It was an accident, that you can't take back. And as far as her thinking someone will always be around to pick her up is off the mark. Mallory and friend carrying her taught her a life lesson, and she may, from this experience, repay the favor to someone else in need. And as far as stumbling and having people carry you, and expect someone to carry you all of the time is not always true either. Should't we be thankful that somedays there are people like Mallory that will pick you up and help carry the load, the burden or the pain? We're all in this world together. I teach my kids to be tough (they are in football) but always to give other people grace when the time is appropriate. Sports is competitive, and so is life, be we don't have to be rude, ignorant, unfeeling people about it either. I teach them to get back up, and dust themselves off, and life isn't always fair. There is a golden rule, treat others the way you want to be treated.
another thing is, the evil people that do things for their own gain, I don't think watched the video and had a warm fuzzy feeling about it, let alone vote about it.

Im not trying to preach, but I do remember somoeone a LONG time ago, carrying a cross on his back, and fell and stumbled, and someone helped him up and helped him carry the cross to his death. I think even Christ was greatful that someone helped him with his burden.
Kudos to Mallory who was unselfish and kind to let a girl reach her goal. I am proud of her!Isn't it nice to have people like Mallory who do go the extra mile and think of others? Life would be awful lonely to go through it alone with no one to lean on, or carry you through rough times. Even on a baseball field you can show your grace and caring, AND SPORTSMANSHIP! And by the way........no one asked or updated.........Is Sarah OK? Is her injury ging to give her problems permanently or will she heal nicely?
Thanks for listening everyone
Katie from Iowa

First off thought video was great. Coach and team that tried to decide how to win jerks asking for deserved lawsuit, team that carried her around true winners.

Don may not have worded the punchline as explicitly as he could have to convey his idea. Ideally, we feel good when we have done good. People in our society who do evil things and feel good about it are not those who society recognizes as the "norm." Despite the fact that Mallory's team "lost" the game, Mallory and her teammates WERE winners, because, as the old adage goes, "It's not whether you win or lose, but HOW you played the game." Everyone on the field AND in the stands won that day because of Mallory's thoughtfulness, graciousness, and certainty of who she is and what she's about. No follower, this girl!

I believe that you are both right and I feel that you should have also made that and option. I believe that if you fell good at what you do in your day that you do leave the world in a better way. So it isn't being self centered to feel good about doing something good to make yourself feel better while helping someone else. I always feel good after doing something for another person. What those girls did to help the other one feel great and get what she deserved whether they had to make a sacrifice or not was totally awesome!

I believe that you are both right and I feel that you should have also made that and option. I believe that if you fell good at what you do in your day that you do leave the world in a better way. So it isn't being self centered to feel good about doing something good to make yourself feel better while helping someone else. I always feel good after doing something for another person. What those girls did to help the other one feel great and get what she deserved whether they had to make a sacrifice or not was totally awesome!

Come on people. Get real! While everyone is sitting around the campfire singing cume ba ya and talking about how wonderful humanity is, the people in the world who are out to win "everything", including your freedoms, will leave you wanting for scraps. The world is a harsh place and no amount of wishing otherwise is going to change it. Be prepared or be taken over.

I think it was inspirational. Many times-athletes get hurt and you don't know the extent of the injury for a short while. Waiting those moments to determine what SHE wanted to do seems appropriate to me. How is it that we can't recognize these moments as JUST PLAIN GOOD and not analyze them!!
Hats off to all involved in this game. I wish I had been there too!!
Thanks for the great video!!

I disagree vehemently that students go to school in fear that they will be shot due to being taught they are special. It is quite the opposite! Children who are taught they are nothing and are denied love and basic caring are those who seek attention at any level - even the level of a gun barrel. Children who are selfish and uncaring are the ones who have been taught they are "special". They are the ones expecting a trophy for showing up at a game and must win at all costs. (I won't even get into those children who must achieve out of fear of the consequences of failing from their parents.)

Parents have forgotten to teach valuable life lessons to their children. One of those lessons is in certain circumstances caring for others more than for one's own glory. Technicalities, winning, selfish adults - none of that seemed to matter to Mallory. It seems to me Mallory did pick herself up, dust herself off and help Sara. One day, perhaps Sara will do the same for someone else. This is called humanity and it transcends any game. It is life. Mallory is a wonderful young woman who has been taught to see humanity. Sara is the beneficiary of a kindness she will, hopefully, spend a lifetime giving back. Perhaps if more parents were like Mallory's, there would be fewer guns to be fearful about.

Life lessons may be learned in many ways.

I did not prefer your end line as this was to ne more about feelings than about winning or making the world a better place. It was a beautiful piece on how your heart went out to the little Sarah and more because Catherine DID something about it. That she lost was not the point at all. How many of us are moved enough to get into action? often we let go of the most important things and somehow...its not only how you feel but what you did with that feeling to make a difference.

Just to reply to John. In Australia winning is not everything for professional athletes. A classic example is Alan Border, captain of the Australian cricket team, a position of honour here and fiercely competed for. In his last game ever having won for his team with a huge innings (personal score), he walked off the field rather than beat Bradman's average for career scores. (Bradman is a cricketer in the 1930's greatly respected here who played with far less effective equipment). IN addition, you see fiercely competitive rugby league and union players hitting up at each other ( that's American football without the padding) pulling up occasionally to protect either a teammate or an opposition player from career threatening injury. Winning lasts one day; respect lasts a lifetime.

While it is encouraging to see that Mallory and the un-named team mate have their priorities in order (being willing to sacrifice losing the game so that her 'home run would count').

I'm personally appalled that the coach would have allowed Sarah to lay on the field agonizing in pain while she cooked up some way to 'make it count'.

Sarah's coaches & team mates need to ask themselves: At the end of the day did WE do what was right?

I think the choices were somewhat limited. I believe it may be somewhere in the middle. I applaud what they did. As others said, I think it shows a great deal of character and compassion. If the ball is hit out, then it is a homerun. The fact the she blew her knee and couldn't run would have negated the runs on a technicality. As an athlete, I would want to actually earn the win, not get the victory on a technicality.

Our children go to school in fear everyday waiting for someone to bring in a gun and shoot someone because for the last 20yrs we have taught them that everyone is "special" or "equal" and that winning isn't important as long as you get to play the game. blah, blah, blah. When these kids are faced with a challenge or rejection they don't know how to handle it. They burst out in uncontrolled anger because they don't know how to react and deal. Why should they know. We haven't been teaching them how to overcome adversity, we've been drugging them all their lives so they don't feel the pain. (prozac, ritalin etc..)
The game should have stopped, the player taken off the field and attended to, the points lost and the team forced to rally to get back the points. The lesson learned there would have been that you will always have challenges in life that keep you from achieving your goals. There probably won't be someone there to carry you when things go wrong and you need to overcome those obstacles. You may not win that one, but the true lessons in life are often learned in loss and how you deal with it. This girl will probably go through life thinking that she doesn't have to be good to play. She doesn't have to deal with loss or inadequcy. There will always be someone there to pick her up and carry her. How is that doing her any good? What happens the next time she stumbles? Will she get up, fight for the next goal against all odds or do you think that perhaps she'll wait for someone to come along and fix it for her. What about the team members? Will they deal with their challenge and rise to the occasion or will they whine about the situation and declare that "it's not fair"! Well, stop whining, get up, dust yourself off, fight back and learn from your mistakes and challenges.

Why can't a good deed just be a good deed? Sara may have been in pain and could have asked for help, causing her hit to be a single. (Not everyone, as in one of the comments, is so selfish as to have to win the game.) Perhaps Sara realized that both teams were trying to help her, a low-performing player as noted by Don, make the home-run of a life-time. Thanks to Mallory and her team (who did not seem to make a fuss over Mallory's decision), all of the girls can feel good that they made the world a better place and gave Sara a feeling that may never be repeated. Kudos to them all. Barbara, I have a great deal of respect for you. Let there be joy in this, enjoy it, and know that as long as the comments show the positive, people understand what it is all about.

At that level of sport you dont play to feel good, you play to win. How did all the girls in the losing team feel about two team mates handing the game to the opposition? Do you play competative sport to win or just have a "good warm fuzzy time?" I know why I play - to win.

I agree with Harvey on May 3, 2008 6:11 PM
I was moved by the compassion as it was laid out in the video only after I was shocked by the lack of attention to and care for the injured person. In the heat of the moment, were all spectators and players aware of the "stats" so much to make the decision for the injured player that she'd prefer to be carried around the bases for the good of the "team" rather than to have her pain be dealt with and her injury cared for immediately? To me, the fact that she blew her knee out in an attempt to right a "wrong" move showed some integrity on her part. After that, it should have been all about her injury, not her stats or the game winning potential of what "could have been" if she were able to round the bases. I was surprised to feel the sense of debate over the rules while the player is obviously in pain while everyone else decides what would be best! So, ultimately, I couldn't say either "final statement" was spot on.
It was a really warm fuzzy feeling to see the video pieced together the way it was, though. Kind of reminded me of the movie, Lightening McQueen. I think the message was similar.

I think you are right about that "feeling good" may be different for each of us, depending on our morals and values, but I think he really meant feeling good about what is right. You two probably "feel" the same way about it.
It is inspirational to see this video, just to know that Mallory made this choice realizing that that her teammates and supporters would probably give her difficult time about her choice. I teach high school, and I don't think I know of a student with this much moral integrity. I am very proud of her.

I wonder if you and Don are saying the same thing in different ways. At the end of the day, aren't you both talking about doing the next right thing?

No, some people don't do bad things because "it makes them feel good". Some people do bad things for reasons I won't go into here. You can research that. When we can step out of the competitive mentality and raise our moral standards - be nice to each other, then we are closer to feeling good about ourselves and making this world a better and more peaceful place. Then playing games with each other can be fun - when we are not attached to the results. Is it all about "feeling better about ourselves". Well, that's a whole other discussion.

Maybe it should have been left alone with the statement the Winning is more than the final score closing the video. As the video touches each person in a different way, so does the definition of winning.

Just out of curiosity, why did you say that the softball game was played in Portland, Oregon when the game was played in Washington?

While I think both Barbara and Dan are right but Graham Hays at ESPN hit the nail on the head. I got the email to check out this blog after seeing the video about this on ESPN's Baseball Tonight.

If only we could see more of this in the world today.
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?columnist=hays_graham&id=3372631

Hi--
Feeling implies using one's heart rather than one's brain. The girls reacted to another human being. I'd say Mallory was a winner in all ways.

mo

It was a great video, very heart warming!
I applaud Mallory for her high morals!
I think that both of the comments missed the mark.
If you look a little deeper the moral of the story is about:
1. Morals
2. Self-sacrifice - realizing another persons needs and putting them above our own
3. Looking beyond the jersey or the color of a person's skin
4. Being a human and touching lives
5. Rising to the occasion when you are put in a position to make a difference in someone's life
6. The fact that we all are here on this earth for a greater purpose
Mallory, just being who she is (a person of high morals and compassion), showed the world how we should all act when it comes to helping others. Can you say you would have done the same thing she did?
Living in the world we live in today, such compassion has been beat out of us. We have been desensitized by the violence and the horrific acts that are shown on the news daily and that is why this young lady's choice is getting so much attention. We have become insensitive to others needs as we are caught up in the rat race of trying to survive to think we could change a persons life by one small sacrifice daily.
Can you imagine if the world was made up of people and politicians that were more like Mallory? I know that is a fantasy world but we could all do one small thing a day to rise to the occasion.
There are no coincidences in life, only divine appointments. Need Morals? Want to reach out to others and rise to the occasion? Is so check out www.crosswalk.com . Following and living by ten things could change you and make you a Mallory too.

I agree we adults have to learn to do things we do not want to do.
That is what makes a mature person.
We do not have to feel like it.
It might actually go against our "feelings". Fathers and Mothers have to do things we do not feel like doing for the sake of the Family.
Sometimes I would like to sleep thru the night instead of sitting up all night holding a child that is vomiting. (they won't remember, either)
Deny yourself...That is a hard one.

The question was about the bottomline...When we are teaching a problem do the ends justify the means of getting there?

I think Don is absolutely right, and so is Barbara, he is the first step of a logic and Barbara is the next, that's all!

Just a quick question. I'm doing my own poll. Are you a Republican, Barbara? Please let me know.

Barbara, I voted "yes," but I have to admit that it was only after some thought that I did so. I want to agree with your afterthought, but I think that by ending the video as he did, Don was trying to keep the interest of a broad audience. To those in the audience who already have an informed (and good) sense of morality, his statement rings true; for those may not, well, I don't think they would have reasoned things out the way you did and, more to the point, I think that your ending would have "turned them off" by being too "preachy". The story itself is the message, pithy ending or not.

"With them in our future, our future is really bight"
Should be the punch line. But I think you are picking worms a bit. Every body understood what he meant

"With them in our futur, our futur is really bight"
Should be the punch line. But I think you are picking worms a bit. Every body understood what he ment

I have to agree with laire on May 4, 2008 6:30 AM; thanks to Don for making this video - Barbara, there's no limit or definition to the scope of feeling and feeling drives us all- read the research going on today - especially Antonio Damasio "The Feeling of What Happens." Don't intellectuallize everything - there's just not a reason for everything - there may be a feeling for everything - Perhaps your curiosity and your inquiring nature were your feelings here Barbara - and that's why you posted the video so more of us could see it -Thanks for that - It's OK to trust your feeling and other people's feelings too - feelings don't mean a messy or negative outcome - Do they ? There is a bigger picture about optimism and learned optimism and about not questioning what is obviously a gloriously simple victory.

Sports for sports sake alone is not the original purpose.
Team work, problem solving are the two greatest complaints of employers, everywhere.
Feel or no feel, the acts of the two teams were cooperative, good sports, positive, and working with each other for purposes not specifically for the pointspread alone.
Good call for the team membes

I think you have missed an even bigger thing. The problem with this world is people who can't just let a nice thing be "what it is" without picking at it. People who just have to butt in and have "their say" and tear down the good. Why did you feel it necessary to take his statement to task? Does it make you feel good? It is people like you who make the nice people like Don wonder why they bothered in the first place. It is why we have nothing but negativism thriving in this world. Why good deeds are overshadowed by bad news. Why good people don't come forward in everything from the classroom to the political arena...they will only be scrutenized and criticized. Think about it!

Thank you Don for bringing this story to more people. I for one missed it on the news and would have never seen it if it were not for you. Good job!! And please don't be discouraged by people who have a need to criticize.

The game seems to have had far more priority than the pain and health of this young girl. What then does this tell us? Sacrificing for a game or ego is not the same as doing so to leave the world a better place. It goes far in explaining though why athletes are paid far more than those, such as firemen or police, who do put their lives on the line, are paid.

The game seems to have had far more priority than the pain and health of this young girl. What then does this tell us? Sacrificing for a game or ego is not the same as doing so to leave the world a better place. It goes far in explaining though why athletes are paid far more than those, such as firemen or police, who do put their lives on the line, are paid.

I agree with Patty and Shirley. At the end of the day, the other team will feel better for doing the right thing than they would have if they had won due to Sara's misfortune. At the end of the day, how you feel is referring to your conscience and doing the right thing.

Now if the guy had just said "runs" instead of "points". That's what drove ME crazy!

Barbara, your two choices were too limited. By helping the runner to get around the bases, the other team demonstrated a great deal of character, thus doing a lot, by example, to make the world a better place.

I wish I'd been there!

Barbara, your two choices were too limited. By helping the runner to get around the bases, the other team demonstrated a great deal of character, thus doing a lot, by example, to make the world a better place.

I wish I'd been there!

Barbara, your two choices were too limited. By helping the runner to get around the bases, the other team demonstrated a great deal of character, thus doing a lot, by example, to make the world a better place.

I wish I'd been there!

I believe that it is about "how you feel at the end of the day" as I don't believe doing bad really make anyone feel good. If it does they have no morals at all. For that matter I doubt that they have ANY sense of good or bad!
Thanks for sharing the video it is a wonderful story and I understand what you are saying but in reality I think the 2 of you have the same thought just expressed in a different (Male vs female) way.

It was a great video and brought tears to my eyes. I think both of your comments about the video were appropriate. They both apply.

A couple of the comments already posted already express my view.

No one with a true heart can 'feel good' about any thought or deed which is not truely and honestly a good thought or deed.

Thanks for posting this video and restoring my faith in mankind. we can all learn from this.

Thanks for posting this video and restoring my faith in mankind. we can all learn from this.

I don't think feelings have anything to do with this story, but character does. People of good character will do the right thing no matter how it makes them feel.

I don't think feelings have anything to do with this story, but character does. People of good character will do the right thing no matter how it makes them feel.

I live in Middlesex County, NJ and was moved by the broadcast of this event on the evening news. It is so unusual these days to see a broadcast of teens in positive situations - not that there aren't plenty of teens doing great things. It just seems that newscasters go out of their way to report on only the violence that is done. As for Don's commentary, I think he is expressing what parents, grandparents, elders, teachers and mentors want for all children...that they can feel good, satisfied, proud and happy at the end of their day with the decisions they have made and how they have treated other people. The "pleasure" or "good feelings" people express when doing wrong have nothing to do with what is normally considered feeling good.

This was an awesome story. After seeing girls beat up other girls to be put on You Tube lately, this was great to hear and a lesson to be learned by so many young kids and even adults. Never seen this on the news or talk shows........but it should've been. Everyone will take if differently on what Don said, but no matter what...it was great to hear this story.

It is indeed a matter of the words he chose. However, how you feel about yourself and your choices is the issue. I certainly hope everyone involved felt really good about themselves that day!

"No matter what the scoreboard said - they all were winners!" What is a game of baseball in the bigger game of life?

You do your best each day. At the end of the day - you look back to see if you did your very best. Mallory "went the distance" to help another person. I'm extremely proud of her - she did what is morally right - and will never regret it. Who knows, some day she may need special help and she will be repaid. "Do unto others as you would like done to you" Amen

I think I understand what he meant: When you do good things for others it makes you feel great (at the end of the day). I also think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill over semantics. I think what the girls did was fantastic and I commend him for publicizing their good deed.

I think I understand what he meant: When you do good things for others it makes you feel great (at the end of the day). I also think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill over semantics. I think what the girls did was fantastic and I commend him for publicizing their good deed.

I think I understand what he meant: When you do good things for others it makes you feel great (at the end of the day). I also think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill over semantics. I think what the girls did was fantastic and I commend him for publicizing their good deed.

I'm sorry to disagree with most of you. I thought what the girls did, showed a lot of character and truly should be admired and shared. However, I don't think it ever should have gotten that far. For anyone to see someone in such pain (as described) and not immediately seek to aid that person is abominable. To suggest that the player possibly could crawl around the bases is inhumane.

I think the message that is sent in this video is that it is a sad world we live in when compassion and helping people that are injured are put aside to "rules of the game" for whatever reason.

I guess Vince Lombardi was right when he said, "If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score."

I'm sorry to disagree with most of you. I thought what the girls did, showed a lot of character and truly should be admired and shared. However, I don't think it ever should have gotten that far. For anyone to see someone in such pain (as described) and not immediately seek to aid that person is abominable. To suggest that the player possibly could crawl around the bases is inhumane.

I think the message that is sent in this video is that it is a sad world we live in when compassion and helping people that are injured are put aside to "rules of the game" for whatever reason.

I guess Vince Lombardi was right when he said, "If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score."

I don't think anything has to be said past that 'winning is much more than the final score'. Leave it at that. This allows others to ponder that phrase and help them come to their own conclusions in their own lives.

My motto is "be proud of them or be proud of you, but in all cases BE PROUD!" I'm proud of everyone in this story!

It's very difficult for me to find an answer. I
can see your point, so many bad people do bad things out of pleasure. But, isn't it true that for our children would be much better to think that it is important to feel all right at the end of the day? Perhaps we adults are so tired of bad things that sometimes don´t see that a happy note at the end of the day would be wonderful. Sorry, I didn't vote, I didn't agree with any of the options. But I LOVED THE VIDEO, CONGRATS TO THE GIRLS, WELL DONE, DON!!!!

I like ending it after winning is more than the score at the end of the game.

No matter what, it is an awesome video about an extraordinary action.

PS Tell Don that last Saturday was April 26 and Sunday was April 27.

I think anything that is encouraging and positive is a good thing!

What a happy world we would be if people really thought about other people lst!

have fun

:)

There is what's correct and what's right. Mallory had the right idea. She showed she knew the true meaning of winner and being a good sport by doing what was right.

Does it really matter? Anyone with a brain and a heart will come to their own conclusions about this story.
Myself, I think it is wonderful that Don took the time to make a video of this awesome event. It shows teens in a good light and is the epitomy of good sportmanship.
Why is anyone spending the time splitting hairs over what words he chose as the epilogue.
Thank you for drawing my attention to this story.. I can assure you I will be passing it on to others.
Sincerely
Shilo

Honestly, I think we are debating over semantics. After watching the video, I think Don intended to say the same thing Barbara did, but chose less precise words. If Barbara hadn't restated the last phrase, I still would have interpreted Don's statement to mean the same thing she did.

Tis better to give than receive. The girls carrying the ball player are the ones feeling good at the end of the game, and rightly so.

P.S. Remember the saying, "It isn't if you win or lose, it's how you play the game?"

Winning is about more than the final score - it's about character and relationships - about always striving to improve - and it's about giving of yourself without reservation.

I agree - he missed it. It's about doing what is right because it's right, not out of fear of punishment or expectation of reward.

I don't homeshcool my child in expectation of championships, medals, scholarships, or awards. I do so with the goal of developing a character like that of these girls, who never quit trying regardless of the statistics, and who give of themselves to others with joy, love, and respect.

I think this creative act of grace initiated by Mallory was probably the most exciting thing that happened in the game. I agree with the comment that there is more than one way to show that you are a winner.

I do think Don is correct. It IS about how you feel at the end of the day. People KNOW what is right and what is wrong. If they know at the end of the day they did what was RIGHT, then they can live with it. If not, they know deep inside they were wrong. This was a great example of kids who have the moral fortitude to do what is right, not what is easy.

I prefer Barbara's moral for just the reasons she mentions. Also, as the target group I would be reaching would be 9 yr. olds, I think her message is much more on track. I have students who trip, shove, tackle...whatever they think they can do without getting caught...just to win a game of soccer at recess. They are much too caught up in WINNING and the main way to FEEL GOOD, for them, is to win. I'm with you, Barbara! Great video.

I can see both sides to the feelings statement. Too many kids (generally) want to impulsively do what "feels" good for the moment, rather than think out, what is the right thing to do. I think if he took it one step farther and added "It's how you feel ABOUT YOURSELF at the end of the today" it would have been clearer.

On the otherhand, the crowd and both teams seemed to have stood around while that poor girl was in pain. Obviously, this game was important to her too BUT where was her Mother (Just Kidding) who would have been chomping the bit to haul her daughter off to the ER or DR's office? Was the game TRULY that important? And yes my kids have been & is in sports and I grew up in a sports minded family.

I see what Barbara means, but I see that most of us were assuming that the statement about feelings contains the unspoken "about having done the right thing" right after "how you feel."

With Barbara's focus on kids, she may be suggesting that our kids (or grandkids as the case may be), in their developmental years as they are, may not make that same assumption - and that concerns me, too. I really want my grandkids to know that "if it feels good do it" is a bad message.

Certainly presenting a video such as this one to our kids means watching it together and creating a teaching opportunity by discussing what that phrase means.

That would be the time that I would point out - again - the important lesson that what we choose to think and what we choose to do is what our integrity is all about. Sometimes, doing the right thing may not feel good. Losing that game did not feel good (even though though what they did for Sarah did) and there could well have been some people in their lives who gave them a bad time for it.

I can't vote in the poll because neither choice is spot on. Perhaps if Don's response would have been "it's how you feel about your values at the end of the day," or "it's how you feel about your actions," it might not have hit you so negatively. There's nothing bad about feeling good.

Keeping things in context, I believe that Don is talking about knowing that you made a difference that impacted many many people. What a great story!

Keeping things in context, I believe that Don is talking about knowing that you made a difference that impacted many many people. What a great story!

"And that a lot of people do really bad things because "it makes them feel good."

Those things make you 'feel good' with a nagging, aching, gnawing pain in your gut - that many of us choose to ignore, when in the middle of 'feeling good' over the new car we're driving that we can't afford, or 'feeling good' because the "cutest" boy in class asked us out, even though he called your best friend horrible names the day before...or whatever the 'thing' is.

So basically, those feel-goods don't really feel good, you know?

The most important thing in this life is to help others win/achieve; even if it means slowing down and changing your own race. People are like
tea bags: they never know their strengths until they are dropped in hot water. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

If you do the right thing and think of others more highly than yourself, you'll feel good about the situation and yourself. Don could have made that more clear, but we don't have to be so picky about it.

I believe both sides are right, however, I'll give Barbara's conclusion the edge. My question is, would this happen if this was a male sport? I doubt it. I believe women, are more attuned to feelings and doing the right thing than men. Look at how women respond to fighting breast cancer. Do you see men responding and working hard to fight prostate cancer? No, and it's much more prevelant. Nuff said. Keep up the good work Barbara!

At the risk of sounding arrogant, the flaw I see in your argument, Barbara, is this phrase:

"... a lot of people do really bad things because 'it makes them feel good.' Am I right here?"

While some may claim that doing bad things makes them feel good, I'd argue that anyone who says such a thing is really saying that they're not in touch with their feelings, because a major--and I think the most important--indicator of whether something is "good" or "bad" is that the good makes us feel good. At the same time, a major--again probably the most important--indicator of a bad action is that it's made someone else feel bad. Thus anyone who can claim to feel "good" about doing "bad" is lacking in empathy and therefore not truly expressing what they feel.

It doesn't really matter who is right. The girls did the right thing and I doubt they were thinking about how they would feel but how that girl must feel lying on the ground unable to run the bases. Those girls have had some wonderful moral guidance.

Barbara, it looks like we both asked the same question of our respective readers at about the same time! My similar post is here: http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-winning_is_everything.html.

I'm also getting quite a few comments on it.

Don started quite a conversation. Good to see people are continuing it.

Barbara,

I think Don had it. It can be read either way, but I think he meant how you feel about yourself at the end of the day. Have you shown good character. Is you integrity in place?

1 Corinthians 9:24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

Hebrews 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Well, I'ts all about thinking that you did the right thing, at the end of the day. I'ts all about enjoying life without harming others. I think Don should have added: "Winning is much more than the final score. It's all about making the right thing".

By the way this video shows how rigid the rules were applied, and my opinion is that rules have to be adjusted to unusual circumstances.

Well, I'ts all about thinking that you did the right thing, at the end of the day. I'ts all about enjoying life without harming others. I think Don should have added: "Winning is much more than the final score. It's all about making the right thing".

By the way this video shows how rigid the rules were applied, and my opinion is that rules have to be adjusted to unusual circumstances.

Well, I'ts all about thinking that you did the right thing, at the end of the day. I'ts all about enjoying life without harming others. I think Don should have added: "Winning is much more than the final score. It's all about making the right thing".

By the way this video shows how rigid the rules were applied, and my opinion is that rules have to be adjusted to unusual circumstances.

I think this was a tremendous video, and I am touched by Mallory's gesture. I do think that Barbara is right, though, and the video would be improved by a punchline more in line with "It isn't all about winning, it's about doing the right thing".

I think Don had it right, but maybe was assuming too much. Good people do feel good when making moral, kind, thoughtful, high-minded, tough choices. Unfortunately, that's not everyone. Maybe I'm assuming too much by stating that I knew what he meant....

How about if you get the difference between Portland, OR and Ellensburg, WA! Neither of the teams was from Portland, either.

And I don't think he meant how you feel as much as how you feel about yourself; are you satisfied that you have done the right thing.

I agree with Don because it is how you feel at the end of the day - Can you hold your head up or not? There are people who do wrong because it feels good to them, but I still believe they are in the minority.

Interesting how the votes are going but of course it's people who subscribe to you and your views and then vote after having read your rational about why you think he's wrong. Perhaps if there were a mirror site with your ending and his rationale it might be more evenly distributed.
Nena