Barbara Feldman: Kids That Talk

I got tears in my eyes when I read your post. I, too, am blessed with a 10 year-old son who talks to me. We do most of our talking as his bedtime ritual. I rub his back and we talk (did I mention we are both on the top bunk?). I feel so fortunate and I pray it will continue through the teenage years and beyond (the talking part, not the top bunk part). His class recently wrote and illustrated their own books and his dedication read: "I dedicate this book to my mom because she is always there when I need her." I just remembered that he asked me this morning (as we are rushing out the door), if I would come in to pick him up at school (usually he comes out to the car) because he has something to show me and that it would only take a minute. I told him that we really need to hurry today because his brother has gymnastics and I didn't have time. I am going to call the school right now and ask them to give him a note telling him that I will meet him at his classroom after school. I think he wrote that dedication as insurance...

Kids talk when parents listen (and respond appropriately) with their hearts and minds open. You must be one such parent -- thank goodness for that! How often are a kid's comments met with a disapproving or dismissive tone? I'd like to suggest to other parents who aren't naturally gifted in this kind of communication (which is most of us!) a *wonderful* book called "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." It is a very readable book with cartoon-type illustrations to show new ways to talk to and listen to our kids. I've led parenting classes based upon this book and have heard from many other parents over the years how helpful it has been. This is not a plug. I really believe in this approach -- it changed my relationships and my life dramatically!