Barbara Feldman: "Was Like"

You spelled the word "word" wrong. Instead you wrote "world". Oh and I like your story.

Ah, yes. As a child of the 80's, I'm now 21 and still can't seem to eliminate that little word entirely from my vocabulary--and mind you, I am SUCH a stickler about spelling and grammar and always have been! I have friends who are far worse about using it as well.

Frankly, my biggest language pet peeve is with people who are 15, 30, 50 years old and still can't use proper spelling and/or grammar....I'm still trying to figure out how one can speak a language natively (sometimes as their only language) for their entire life and never actually learn to use it fluently. Why do I know people who've only been speaking English for a couple years who are far better at it than many people I know who have been speaking it 15 or 20+ years??

My 13 year old daughter knows that you have to adjust your behavior according to where you are and who you are with. For example an "outdoor voice" is inappropriate in church, and large amounts of slang aren't used when talking with teachers, grandparents, etc.

I allow her to use most of her slang at home, I want to keep track of what is going on in her life and allow her to be her own person. But I have found a quick way to discourage her from driving me crazy with incessant use of each knew slang word she adds to her vocabulary.

When she somes home with the newest phrase and uses it constantly, I wait a couple of weeks (or as long as I can stand to) and then purposely use it as often as I can whenever I talk to her. She usually laughs and informs me that I am saying it wrong (I don't use the right inflection) and then gradually she will say it less often around me. OR, she will say, "You can't use that, that's mine!!!" (certain slang terms identify who your group of friends are!) and she quits using it around me in order to get me to quit saying it!!! So far she hasn't figured out my strategy. I do it subtly so that it sounds like I am trying to be cool, just like her. It seems to be working well.

I find young people in urban India using "was like" and its various cousins in the firm belief that it's the hep thing to do probably because the sloppy young Americans they watch admiringly on the idiot box do so. In advertising where I work, a lot of young copy cubs do it all the time. As I'm neither their parent nor their teacher, I tend not to correct them. But I go like "Yechhhhh!" inside every time.

My comment has nothing to do with teenagers or the word, "like." I've just been waiting for an opportunity to ask somebody about another language problem I've been noticing in published (and, I assume, edited) new books. That's a complete ignoring of the past tense of the verb, "to lay," in uses not involving chickens or other birds. Example: "She lay her hand next to his." An excellent new Texas novelist with two books now has used "lay" incorrectly all the way through both books, but she is not the only one doing this. What's with this (mis)usage?

I have also been fighting the incorrect usage of words. I tell my classes and my kids that I understand that to fit with your friends you want to talk that way. So we go over the correct way to speak and I ask tham to repeat the slang in English to see if they can do it corectly. I tell tham anyone can talk the talk but it takes someone who cares and is intelligent to speak correctly. Every time one of my kids or students uses the word suck to mean stinks or the hundreds of other words that could be substituted I have them do just that. Write me X sentences using words that say what you really mean.

Like (oh, that word again...) many other languages, English is evolving and changing with the time. But even so, there are certain standards of good and proper English.
I often have suggested to my young people that they might have to consider being bi-lingual in the sense that they have to master the proper use of the language, but also be able to converse with their less tolerant peers, using their way of speaking. After all, everyone wants to be accepted rather than being labeled a snob or similar. And that is important, too.

I know what you mean by saying "LIKE" the word "LIKE" !I remember a few times today I said "like" that word I don't know how many times!!! I "LIKE" like what you wrote.

Isaac Lee Cable

The phrases you have listed are extremely hard to banish form my vocabulary. I loathe them. "Like," He/ she's all....", "totally" I've heard these from many different people. I can't stand them. I'm proud to be a seventh generation Californian, not sound like a twenty something Californian.
the one that drove me over the edge was "for reals??" This statement became the new 'thing' shortly after I noticed myself wanting to gravitate towards people who spoke properly. What's worse is hering people in their mid twenties still speaking as if they're freshmen in high school trying to be hip. The straw that broke the camel's back, while in Santa Barbara I heard young men saying "Late instead of "Later".. formerly known as "See you later" Upon returning to Northern California my friends were already saying "'Late" That was the final straw.
Best of Luck on keeping these out of your children's mouths.

How about, like, the way all sentences sound like end in a question? Even when they're not questions? Like, what's up with that?

I don't think there's a problem with talking the talk when fitting in among their peers. But at home, it's annoying, and I insist they speak properly at home. How else am I to be sure they know HOW to speak the language? Or to be sure they know when it is appropriate and when it is not? Or that they respect my and others feelings? I give in on a lot of things, but preparing them for the real world is my job as a parent.

I say pick your fights. They're doing this because they desire to fit in with their friends(and it doesn't hurt that it annoys adults). I assure you I outgrew it as soon as I realized that they people I wanted most to be like didn't speak this way. Unfortunately most "role models" now are naked, self serving egomaniacs, but there are a few who still value good grammar and great values. Steer your preteen towards correct models and they'll get over the "like" thing. If they don't, it's a lesser problem than the complete lack of self respect we see leading teens to drugs, "free" sex, and suicide. Next to them like doesn't seem like such a big deal.

So what's wrong with the word like? I use it all the time. I also say the word "goes' for says. Not all the time, though. Just at like certain times when it's you know appropriate.

I just retired from public schools, in time to homeschool my two grandsons, ages 8 and 9. I live with my son and his family, and we have all been concerned witih the lack of teaching of both grammar and enunciation in the local schools. By the way, it may have started in The Valley, but in southern Georgia it is deeply entrenched. I may be accused of racism, but what I have seen in the last 15 years appears to be an adoption by educated whites of the more careless speech of the black community. Even the well-educated black teachers I know and respect, have a sloppy way of pronouncing their words. It rubs off on the children in their classes - examples are my two grandsons. I expect that my views are "colored" by being the daughter and granddaughter of Indiana school teachers, and the fact that correctly spoken American English was prized in my home, but the situation in the schools today is horrible; an opinion privately held by my former principal and an assistant-supt. of personnel who also happen to be from Indiana.

I think this is a S. California phenomenon. Remember "valley girl" talk in the '80s, parodied by Frank Zappa and his daughter. But, as goes California... My oldest daughter is just arriving at this age group, so I'm going to nip it in the bud if "like" desease appears.

Never ignore!!! Take a stand! The use of the word "like" is one of my husband's pet peeves and I'm proud to report that none of our 4 children (ages 5,9,11,13) uses the word improperly.

I have been fighting the "like" epidemic ever since it began, which was years ago with my oldest daughter who is now almost 24! I am afraid it won't just "go away". I must admit, however, that the use of "like" has diminished among my daughters as they went through college. I dislike the use of it because of the interruption it causes in the flow of speech, and how it makes the speaker seem lazy, unintelligent, and lacking in fluency. Compare it to the use of "ya know", or "um", or "uh". Similar? It offers time (even if only a mini-second)for the speaker to think while speaking.

The other habit among teens that I think is becoming an epidemic is sluggish speech. Mush-mouth. Lack of enunciation. Some of the messages left on our answering maching by friends of my youngest daughter are indecipherable for me! And most of these kids are future movers and shakers in the professional world of business, law, medicine, and industry. Will they just outgrow such immature-sounding speech?!?

Like, for sure, man! I'm like, so totally bummed when someone, like, criticizes my, like, grammar. Like, lighten up!

I personally feel that if a child isn't reading, speaking, and writing in each class they take in school, the school's curriculum needs to be altered. What skills do we use the most each day in our jobs, or at home? Reading, speaking, and writing.

Now that was, like, a totally awesome comment :)